Warning: Adult Content.
So please walk away now if you don't like it!!
Stay with me .....
I walk out of the house feeling very downhearted, and head for the local dive bar. I do not plan to stay there too long, I just need thinking space and alcohol. I know that alcohol is not going to help me to find the the answers, but a couple of stiff drinks will not hurt! I have quite a few decisions to make that I keep putting off.
I walk up to the bar and order myself a double scotch. I sit down on one of the bar stools in the smokey bar half wishing that I smoked right now, because I am choking on the fumes. A group of half cut guys are standing further down the bar, all of them puffing away on cigarettes. The cloud that they are creating between them is creeping in my direction. The smoke is already choking me so I decide to move away from the next cloud, that is about to engulf me, before it reaches and suffocates me. I take my drink and move away from the bar, so that I can sit somewhere where the air looks clearer.
As I sit down on the end seat of the booth close to the pool table, I realize I am not alone. The wall had blocked my view of the whole seating area, so I did not realize that there is already someone occupying one of the seats in the booth. A yellow guy is sat up in the corner quietly on his own, his fingers typing away feverishly on his phone.
The yellow guy glances up briefly from his phone as I am sitting down, it is only a quick glance, he looks almost irritated by my presence, then he goes straight back to his phone and the texts he is reading and sending. When I see him doing a double take I look away.
I feel uncomfortable suddenly sitting so close to this guy. I am close enough to smell his aftershave, which keeps wafting into my nostrils every time I breath in, aftershave which is actually quite nice. There is only one empty seat space separating us, which feels a little ridiculous when the rest of the dive bar is empty, there are plenty of seats I could have occupied, and I have to go and stupidly park my backside right next to his.
I am now really kicking myself for not checking properly before I had just sat straight down. I want to move, because he now keeps continuously giving me quick sidewards glances, after he has sat there for a moment staring and given me the once over by looking me up and down. If I moved away now, I would only be making it obviously rude that I am moving just to put space between me and him. So I stay where I am and try to lose myself in my drink and thoughts so that I can try to forget about him, even though it is hard because I can continuously smell him and can also feel his eyes on me.
I do manage to get lost in my own world for a short time, until I am pulled from my thoughts when his phone bleeps, but I do not look in his direction. Suddenly he makes me jump, he starts swearing, quite loudly and throws his phone, which I watch bouncing across the table top, I think in anger, as he picks up his pint glass and downs the remainder of his drink.
He stands up and I hope that he might be leaving, as he starts to walk away, leaving his empty glass, which he has just slammed down onto the table, while he is muttering and swearing under his breath. I am presuming he did not like the text that he just received.
I take a good look at him then. I think he is much young than me, and quite attractive with his bright yellow eyes and hair untidily tied back in a pony tail. He appears to be a little on the stocky side, but I spot the muscle in his neck and lower arms. I would love to see what is underneath those clothes, I imagine it is all going to be muscles and he works out a lot. Yeah I think I would go there!! I am amused when I glance at his clothes and notice he is wearing a cardigan similar to Granites, this would amuse Mace no end, if he was sat here right now he would be giving this guy some stick!!
I don't follow the yellow guy with my eyes, once he has walked past me, so as not to make it obvious that I am now checking him out. That is when I spot his phone still lying on the table, it's a brand new I phone, exactly like mine, the latest model, which has only been out about three months, I imagine he would be well upset if he lost that so soon.
"Hey mate you have left your phone." I shout after him.
"It's okay, I am coming back." he says without even looking back in my direction as he makes his way to the bar, I guess for a refill. I continue to stare into the bottom of my glass again, thinking about my problems, especially wandering what the hell I am going to do with the rest of my life, without Mace in it.
All of our lives seem to be set out in theory. Tomorrow Mace is being released from the hospital, he will be arrested and charged and hopefully bailed into Shale's custody. Shale and Mace will be moving into Forrest's until his trial, which is going to be quite an interesting situation, especially with Granite also living there. It is Mace's, Gravel's and Tarragons trial that I am really not looking forward too. When Mace's trial is over, he will receive his prison sentence and I will go home back, to Cherry Hill. Mace, for safety reasons, is being moved over to Orange Falls for his prison sentence and once he is released Orange Falls is where he will be staying with his daughter and in law family, Shale, his father in law and his three brothers in law, Shale, Silt and Thyme, who are all going to take care of him. This will give Granite and Forrest the chance to be alone and free of Mace, so they can get on with the rest of their life together here in Sugar Valley, well that is the plan.
It is easy for me to say I am returning to pick up my life back in Cherry Hill, but in reality it is far from easy and life for me will never be the same again. I have never been under any illusion that Mace will suddenly stop loving Granite and love me instead, but he was there, living a few doors away, he was my best mate and I saw him every day, somehow that was enough for me. Once he is sentenced that will be the end of it for us, he is being removed from my life, never to return again. Shale suggested I go with Mace to Orange Falls, but there really is no point, while Granite would probably love me to take Mace off his hands and back, Mace has made it pretty clear if he can't have Granite he wants to be alone. I am sick of torturing myself. I have to get over it and try and move on with my life, when he will be leaving a very big hole in it, that I doubt I will ever fill. I am going to miss him like hell!!
I have to return home where there are just too many memories that I really don't want. Seeing Granite and Maces's house everyday, which is unavoidable, is just going to keep on reminding me, the thought of which is making me really not want to go home. Forrest wants me to stay in Sugar Valley, we have become quite close as mate, since this all started and I did consider it, however Granite is here. Granite is not my favourite person at the best of times and he will always remind me of Mace and I need to forget him, if I am ever going to make any sort of life for myself. I am seriously considering moving out to Berry Shores and making a completely fresh start.
A yellow hand and a glass appear on the table in front of me, disturbing me from my thoughts. He has placed what looks like a double scotch in front of me, without saying a word, and goes back to where he had been sitting before, with his own drink. He picks up his phone and starts to text without even looking at me.
I just sit there frowning at the yellow guy, wandering why the hell he would just buy me a drink like that out of the blue, when I do not even know him.
"For baby sitting my phone." he smiles at me when he sees me frowning at him in confusion. That is when I notice, he is actually very cute especially when he smiles. I would lay bets on him being straight, the cute one's always are!! "It is the brand new I phone and most people would have kept quiet and swiped it the minute my back was turned." he laughs "But then I do keep forgetting that I am back in the land of peace and harmony!!"
"Thanks, you didn't have to!" I smile at him "The land of peace and harmony?" I ask while I frown at him.
"Yeah, this colour mix town gets on my tits!!" he rolls his eyes "The overbearing love makes me want to get out a sick bucket!!" I laugh at him
"I take it you are not used to the ways of the colour mix towns then?"
"Oh yeah, unfortunately, I was born and partly brought up here, you know, the sins of the father and all that!!" he laughs "I have lived with my yellow Grandparents over in Sugar falls, since I was fourteen. It is the first time I have been back here for years, so it is a bit of a culture shock!!"
"You don't sound happy to be back!!"
"I'm not really, but my old man is good at getting his own way, even if he had to wreck my love life to do it!! He has left me with no choice and dragged me back here like I am still fourteen years old!! Suddenly my Grandparents sins are greater than mine, but he still expects me to hide my sins so that we can all play happy families, when if the truth be told, he is the only one with a problem!!"
This guy is weird he keeps talks continuously in riddles and he seems to like the word sin. I just sit there and smile at him because I really do not know what to say to him. He seems to have a thing about sin, I wander if he is religious. I take a swig of my drink, in a way hoping he will stop talking to me so that I can go back to my thoughts.
"You are not from this town are you? You have a weird accent." he frowns at me "So Mr brown berry are you pure or tainted?"
"No, I am from Cherry Hill, which I presume you know is another colour mix town." I smile at him and he rolls his eyes. "I guess you mean mixed berry by tainted, so yeah, I am inflicted!!" he frowns at me.
"You must be like me then - all one colour from one parent"
I laugh as I shake my head and take out my contacts showing him my orange eye, then my blue eye. I tell him I inherited my Dads brown, the orange and blue comes from my Mothers parents, my Mother obviously being an orange and blue mixed berry.
"Oh Berry!! Now that is unusual!!"
He shuffles closer shortening the gap between us and leans in close as he stares into my eyes with fascination. So close all I can smell is his aftershave as well as feel his breath on my face, which makes my stomach flip over and my skin suddenly is covered in goosebumps. It amuses me a little, my eyes tend to freak people out, but he seems pretty fascinated with them as he stares into them. Staring way too long for my liking, but only because of the emotions he is stirring up in me and it has been a long time since anyone but Mace has done that.
"They are quite striking!!" He frowns at me then. "So why the disguise here? You don't need to wear the contacts here."
"People stare at odd balls, it's just easier not to give them a reason to stare. I keep my eyes covered up all the time, even at home, plus they tend to freak most people out." he smiles at me. "My eyes are just one of my demons that tend to drive people away."
It goes quiet for a while, as he shuffles back to his original seat and sits there drinking, watching me over the top of his glass putting my contacts back in. I can not help but laugh to myself, well if my freaky eyes don't drive him away, finding out I am bisexual will!! The obvious being that a straight man gets scared of me jumping on him as well as not trusting me with his girlfriend. Gay and straight people think there is something not right about me.
People tend to feel that I can not be trusted more than most. While most people only look at one sex, I look at both. My girlfriends, for example, feel like they have to watch me with not just other women, but the men too, which brings added pressure for them. I end up being told that I can not have mates of either sex. Every relationship that I have ever had has gone wrong and ended in disaster because of trust issues, even though I am always totally faithful when I get into a relationship. I have been dumped so many times, because of either my eyes or my sexuality, it has kind of given me a complex.
The yellow guys phone bleeps like he has just received a text. He picks up his phone and looks at it, pulling faces as he reads the text message.
"Bitch!!" he mutters angrily under his breath. "Go and suck somebody elses dick then, see if I care!! It's not like you are even any good at it anyway bitch!!" He glances over at me in embarrassment when I start laughing. He apologizes almost like he had forgotten I am sat there for a second. He sends what looks like a hurried reply to the text then he turns off his phone and slams it on the table in temper.
"Girlfriend trouble?" I ask and he just laughs for a moment
"Yeah, something like that!!" he says and carries on laughing "I'm Saffron, by the way." When I tell him my name he frowns at me in a weird way for a moment. "Atlas Maps, I have heard that name a lot lately. I think your parents must have a sense of humour!!" he laughs and so do I, even though it is not the first time that my name has causes amusement for someone. "You are friends with Leafy ... Forrest Rock."
"Yeah, I am crashing at Forrest's at the moment."
"Your mate is the one who the psycho paralised. Mace isn't it, the one who is part of that mad love triangle with Leafy and the psycho's brother!" he continues to laugh as I nod my head and smile. I can not help but laugh, I thought only Granite called Forrest Leafy.
"Aren't you also one of the ones who got shot by our local neighborhood psycho policeman?" It amuses me that he keeps referring to Gravel as a psycho! "I still can not get over that he turned out to be the thieving baby snatching Uncle and not Slates biological Dad!!"
"Yes, unfortunately, I was one of the ones who got shot, I have now got a dirty great hole in my leg courtesy of Gravel." I smile at him, then frown "You seem to know a lot about me, so should I know who you are?"
"It depends, if you know my tribe. The Shines."
"Shine, Oh, are you one of Strawberry's relations?"
"Yes, she is my baby sister, for my sins!!" he rolls his eyes "Funny it would be Strawberry that you know, but then who doesn't!!" he laughs sarcastically "So have you taken a ride on the town bike yet? I hear most of the men in this town have had a go on Straw, even the gay ones!! You are mad if you have, that girl is dirty!!"
I spit my drink out a little all over the table, as I start choking on it. I can not believe he would be talking about his sister like that. Although, from quite a few comments that he has already made I am guessing that he is very down on his family for some reason.
"Not guilty!! I have had my chance, she was all over me but I refused to go there, even though it would have been very easy. I don't do loose women and she has been sleeping with Gravel that's enough to put me off!!" I realize I am now letting my tongue run away with itself "Sorry!! No offense meant! I should not be talking about your sister like that."
"None taken!! You can talk about her however you like!! If the cap fits!! Personally, I can not stand the bitch ... you can choose your friends but not your family!" he smiles at me "If you ask me, Parsley had a lucky escape, I am glad he finally came to his senses!!" he looks down for a moment and a strange expression washes over his face. "Not that I want my sister faded, but it should be her in the cemetery not that baby and Honey, now she was a sweet kid ... no pun intended. They say don't they, they always take the good ones first!!"
"Yes, I'm sorry about your sister, I heard she was a lovely girl! It was so tragic and I feel for Tapestry and that baby girl of theirs." I smile at him sympathetically "I thought I knew all of Sunny and Ruby's kids, bar Honey of course, who unfortunately I never met, Cherry, Crimson, Maize, Carmine, Scarlet and of course Strawberry, I have never even heard of you being mentioned."
"Yeah well that really does not surprise me, I'm a well guarded secret!" he laughs sarcastically "I think the old man would rather I didn't exist!! My parents sent me away when I was younger for my sins. I have been out of this town since I was fourteen so I am pretty much forgotten and overlooked by everyone."
It goes quiet for a moment as we both drink from our glasses. I would love to ask him why he was sent away to his Grandparents, wandering if it is a little cheeky, I hardly know the guy and whatever he has done must have been bad for his parents to send him away. I am just about to ask him, thinking to hell with it he can only tell me to get lost if he does not want to tell me, when he speaks before I get the chance.
"So what is a straight guy doing living in a houseful of queers?" I laugh at him, he is very direct, but I do not trust anyone who uses the word queers.
"I am not exactly straight, I'm bisexual." he starts really laughing
I explain to him that I am Mace's best mate, and I am staying in Sugar Valley to help look after Mace who has to adjust to his new life of being paralyzed before he goes into prison. I tell him that me being in Sugar Valley is just a temporary thing because I am only here until the trial is over, which should starts in a few months. When Mace, gets sentenced to his inevitable spell in prison, then I am going back home to Cherry Hill.
"Bisexual, now that is just being damn greedy in my book!!" he laughs "So which do you prefer, male or female?"
"I am honestly not fussed either way, but if I had to choose, even though I have had more girlfriends then boyfriend, I guess I lean more to male because they give you less of a headache and know what males want better than women do." I laugh "Like your girlfriend and that dick sucking you mentioned earlier, you wouldn't have been saying that to a bloke." I frown at him when he really starts laughing, almost hysterically. "So, do you have a problem with queers?"
"No mate, no problem at all!! Each to their own!!" he smiles at me "It is your ass, it is up to you what you do with it!!"
He picks up his glass and downs the rest of his drink quickly and puts the glass down on the table in front of him as he stands up. He puts his phone in his pocket and I guess he is going to do one now. I do tend to have that effect on straight men, the minute they know I am bisexual, they are gone!! I think maybe Saffron does have a problem with gay people, he is just being too polite to say. Then he totally surprises me.
"It is your turn to get the drinks in. While you are at the bar I will set up the balls on the pool table." he smiles at me as he starts heading for the pool table "I am drinking what you are drinking, I feel like getting smashed!!"
I laugh quietly to myself as I pick up his glass and make my way to the bar, thinking maybe I was wrong about him after all, he does not seem to have a problem with my sexual orientation. Saffron is very sure of himself and has an air of confidence, arrogance even, about him. He does not ask if I am staying, want another drink or even if I want to play pool with him, he just assumes.
I stand and watch him while I am waiting at the bar to get served, he sets up the pool table then starts to fiddle about with the jukebox which he thumps a few times, moaning at the landlord quite loudly that there is nothing decent on the jukebox to listen to.
"Wally you tight ass, it's about time you put your hand in your pocket and bought us some new tunes!! You've had the same crap in this music box since I was a kid, and there are cobwebs in the damn thing, its been so long since you opened it."
"Who let you back into town Saffron Shine, it was quiet until you turned up again!!"
"Shut up you grump old sod!! Isn't it time you retired!!"
I start to relax a little as we play pool. We start to chat casually and find out we have quite a few things in common, especially our jobs. We are both chef's and work at Bistro's in the towns where we live, me in Cherry Hill, him in Sugar Falls, and we are both having to take time out right now. I always intend to go back to my job in Cherry Hill, whereas Saffron intends to try and get a job here, feeling he has no choice but to now put down his roots in this town, being a mixed berry, even though he does not really want to. When I suggest he could try Cherry Hill or Berry Shores seeing as he seems so down on his family, he just smiles at me.
I howl at him when he tells me that the first girl he ever kissed was Coral and Bay was the first boy he kissed, experimenting like you do when you are children. I remember playing that game too, but while he only liked kissing one of them and the other repulsed him, my problem was I liked kissing both.
This conversation cropped up when we were talking about Bay and Slate's relationship. He said he saw that one coming when they were kids, Bay had a thing for Slate when they were spotty kids, but he was shocked to come back to town and find that it has actually happened, always thinking that Slate is completely straight. Apparently the three of them used to hang around together a lot when they were kids, until he was sent away to live with his Grandparents.
"So why were you sent away to your Grandparents?" I ask him as I lean over the pool table about to take my shot.
"Maybe I should let you work that one out for yourself!!" he smirks at me and I laugh, thinking that is his way of saying he does not want to talk about it. I turn to concentrate on my shot "Has anyone ever told you, you have got a cute ass!!" he says suddenly "You really need to quit bending over that table like that in front of me!!"
He says it just as my cue is about to make contact with the white ball. He distracts me, I slip and fluff the shot, hit the white ball awkwardly which goes spinning off into completely the wrong direction.
"You jerk!!" I stand up and laugh at him "Trying to put me off my shot is not going to win you this game!!" he just stands there laughing at me. "It's a good job I know you are straight, or I might have taken that the wrong way!"
Saffron starts howling with laughter then, sometimes I really can not work him out!!
After quite a few games of pool we made our way over to the bar.
"So what is making you want to get smashed?" I frown at him when he hands me some wacky lethal looking drink that he has got the bar tender to concoct using quite a few spirits. "I presume it is the girlfriend." he starts to really laugh for a moment.
"Let's just say, I got burnt, playing the pure berry out in the coded world!!" he rolls his eyes "Me being a mixed berry, I kept that pearl of wisdom to myself, and it did not go down too well with my bitch when the truth came out, thanks to my old man and his big mouth!! I was dumped like a tonne of bricks!! I guess you know how they react to mixed berries out in the coded world." he smiles at me half heartedly "Suddenly love does not count anymore ... I'm out on my ear because of the bitch being more scared of the consequences of the police ever find out what I am!"
"Move her to a colour mix town, then there really isn't a problem is there."
"I suggest it and got a slap for my troubles!! The bitch would rather fade than step foot in a colour mix town!!" he laughs "Suddenly I am an abomination! Something unholy!! Here was me thinking the bitch loved me, but obviously not enough!! I seriously never would have expected the reaction I got!! I can safely say our relationship is done!!"
"Sorry!! It must be tough!!"
"I guess it will teach me for trying to forget and hide my roots!! Playing out in the coded world I now know was not such a good idea, even if my old man did dump me out there to do it!!"
"That is why I alway stick to colourmix towns, besides the people being a hell of a lot nicer, being mixed berry's it is always going to catch up with us no matter how much we try to hide it, especially if and when we have kids, there is no hiding it then!!"
"Mate, that is not even a problem I have to worry about. I am definitely not cut out for having kids!!" he suddenly starts laughing quite loudly.
"Less about me, so what is your problem Maps?" he frowns at me when I tell him there isn't one. "A guy does not usually come into a bar alone late at night and order himself double scotches unless he is an alcoholic or has a problem." he smirks at me "You don't look like a piss head to me with your silky smooth skin, manicured nails, wearing your designer label clothes, and that aftershave you have had a bath in, does not smell cheap!! So what's driven you into this dive?"
"Affairs of the heart, isn't it always." he laughs at me "Basically, I am in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way about me and never will, he's madly in love with someone else." he rolls his eyes "Don't get me wrong, I am not playing the love sick idiot, I'm under no illusion it will ever change, I'm not even trying to change it. We are mates and it just gets me down sometimes. I am trying to get over it and move on."
"We are a right pair!! It looks like we are in the same boat." he laughs "Forget this shit!! Stuff them ... they don't deserve us!!" he laughs suddenly "We both need to get smashed and liven this place up. I'll get a round of drinks in, you go and sort out the music box, something we can dance to. I want to see your moves."
I laugh as I make my way over to the jukebox. I notice this place is almost empty, there is only an old drunk sat over in the corner of the bar, otherwise we have the place to ourselves. I start to flick through the music and stack up a load of songs that I think we can dance to, he is right, the music on this jukebox is so outdated it is a joke.
When I return to the bar he has all sorts of drinks and shots lined up on the bar. I laugh and doubt we are walking out of this place tonight, more like crawling!! The night went by quickly, and swimmingly as we threw shots and doubles of every spirit behind the bar down our necks. We spend the rest of the night dancing, laughing and getting very drunk.
We stand outside the dive bar, way after midnight, laughing hysterically after we have been kicked out of the bar unceremoniously, for dancing on the pool table. However, I think it was more what Saffron was saying to the land lord, that got us ejected from the bar rather quickly, more so than the dancing.
The fresh air has smacked me in the face and now that I am standing outside, I realize I am a lot drunker than I thought I was.
"What a dick!!" Saffron starts to howl "Did you see the state of that table, beer stains, puke, I dread to think what else has stained that table, and he was worried about my socks and shoes!!"
"I really don't think it was our shoes he was worried about!!" he starts laughing "I think he was a lot more worried that you would actually carry out your threat of doing me on the pool table and adding sperm stains to the collection!!"
My sides are hurting I am laughing so much, he is a scream, he seriously does not care what he says to people, if he thinks it, he says it. The landlord was moaning at us for putting our dirty shoes onto the pool table, when Saffron thought it a good idea that we dance on it. Saffron was saying the pool table was dirty and stained anyway so what did a few foot prints matter, if he had swept his bar floor a little better our shoes would not have been dirty. I jumped off while Saffron sat down on the table and started to take his shoes off, telling the landlord he could not complain about his clean socks. The landlord was still not happy, ordering him to get off the pool table. What he turned round and said to the landlord had me doubled up in stitches.
"Listen mate, if you don't shut up and let me dance, I'll give you something to moan about." he start laughing "I'll give you stains to clean up if that's what you really want!!" he signals to me then "Atlas get over here, have you ever been shagged on a pool table?"
That was not the first time tonight that I had heard Saffron say something right out there. He has had me in stitches for most of the night, with some of the things he has been saying, and I can not remember having such a laugh and this much fun in a long time.
"Well I guess I should pretend to be a gentleman and walk you home." he smirks at me as he stumbles about trying to tie up his shoe lace. "However, I am not a gentleman so I'll just warn you, when I do get you home, I am having my wicked way with you, seeing as I think you are so damn cute!"
Just as he says it, he takes a few steps backwards and stumbles over the six inch high log fencing that separates the path and grass, that he had not noticed and he goes flying onto the grass. I laugh at him as he rolls around on the floor laughing at himself. I ignore his last comment passing it off as him now being so drunk he does not know what he is saying.
"Hey Maps, help me up, I don't seem to be able to get up off the floor!!" he says howling with laughter as he holds his hand out to me.
I stand laughing at him before I take his hand and try to pull him up. He continues to laugh as he struggles to get up and pulls on my hand a little too hard and I end up, in my own drunken state, losing my footing and falling on top of him. I roll off him and we both lie on the grass howling. We lie there for ages just howling at each other.
"So how do you fancy a one night stand? No strings attached." I stop laughing as I turn my head to look at him. "I need a shag, booze always makes me horny and hell you are so damn fit!"
Am I hearing this right?! Is he crazy?!
"You are drunk mate, you don't know what you are saying!" I tell him as I start to try and stand up on my feet. "You are straight you piss head and I definitely ain't wearing a skirt!!" I start laughing uncontrollably again.
"Who said I am straight?" he laughs as he scrambles to his feet with my help.
"You did!!" I laugh at him
"No you just presumed!! I said bitch, you are the one who said girlfriend!!" he starts laughing as he staggers about trying to brush the grass off his clothes. "You have been with me all night and you still think I am straight!! Maps I have dropped plenty of hints and you haven't caught one of them have you!!" he is really laughing at me now "Your gaydar is very wacked mate!! I am as bent as they come!!" he starts laughing as he doubles over "Just so you know, not all blokes know how to suck dick, Sulphur was chronic at it, and the kissing it was Coral who knocked me sick not Bay!!" he stumbles towards me and puts his hand on my shoulder "Me and Bay have history, you should ask him!" he winks at me and doubles up laughing again.
I just stand there staring at him wide eyed as he carries on laughing at me.
He grabs my hand suddenly and pulls me round the side of the dive bar, where it is dark. Before I know what is happening he has me up against the wall and is kissing me. At first I am just going through the motions of kissing him back.
I am a little shocked that I had not noticed or realized that he is gay, and he is definitely kissing me like he is!! Now that I think back through the night I now see the string of hints that he dropped that I did not pick up on at the time, because I was not looking for it, I thought he was straight and just took his words as drunken banter.
As his tongue starts to invade my mouth I am unsure that I even want to be doing this, as always I have got Mace in my head and am not even sure I want a one night stand, they rarely end well!! It has been a long time since I have kissed anyone properly, two failed attempts at kissing Mace aside, it has probably been six years. I also know why Saffron is doing this, he is hurting, his
Saffron is grinding himself up against me as he intensifies the kiss, he is starting to really turn me on, and I really do need to get laid, that has also been six long years. My love life has been frozen and none existance because of how I feel about Mace. I start to give into the kiss, I forget everything running through my mind and just go with the flow and suddenly it all starts to get a little heated and I'm taken over by an uncontrollable urge that I have not felt in a very long time.
"Not here!!" he says breathlessly, as he stops us from getting too carried away with it by breaking the kiss. He remains where he is, pinning me against the wall. "We will have to go to yours because my old man won't let me practice my sin under his roof!!"
He grabs my hand and starts to pull me across the wasteland at the back of the dive bar, heading in the direction of Forrest's house. Suddenly a lot of things start to click into place in my head. The sin, being down on his family especially his Dad, being sent away when he was fourteen ... I think this is all about him being gay!!
"Atlas wake up." he whispers in my ear "Atlas!!"
I am being woken up by Saffron who after whispering in my ear, is now playing in it with his tongue, while his hand plays with my face and neck. He tries to wake me a few times, but I ignore him pretending I am still asleep, while I just lie there with my eyes close enjoying his touch and for once that I am not waking up to a cold, lonely and empty bed.
I thought I was drunk and dreaming, imagining the wild romp that took place between us in here last night after returning home from the dive bar. I try to get my head together now knowing that obviously it was no dream. Saffron is half lay over me, our legs are tangled up together on the bed and I can feel his skin pressed against mine, he is as naked as I am.
"I'll bloody wake you up!!" I hear him mumble close to my ear.
I continue to keep my eyes closes, really enjoying the feel of his fingers as they play on my skin. His hand works it's way slowly, zig zaging downwards from my neck, onto my chest and stomach, not stopping until it has reached it's target. I can not help but moan out loud a few times, giving away the fact that I am not still asleep. He has woken me up alright!! Suddenly his hand disappears off my body and he starts laughing.
"Don't stop now!!" I moan
"One night stand remember!!" he laughs
"Then what are you still doing here? Should you not have left already. Isn't it normal to sneak out while I am asleep, so we can pretend when we pass in town like this never happened!"
"Theoretically, but I guess I am not too good at one night stands!!"
I open my eyes then to look at him, try to read the expression on his face. Saffron is leaning over me grinning, he looks bright eyed and a lot better than I feel. I have the hangover from hell and am totally knackered, we did not really get that much sleep and we drank way too much last night!!
"Your eyes ..." he is stares into them. Now he mentions them, I vaguely remember him wanting me to take my contacts out last night. "They are quite enchanting."
"Well that's a first!! I've never quite heard them described like that before, they usually freak people out!!" I laugh as I sit up. "I had this one girlfriend, she used to scream the place down if she saw me without my contacts, she actually dumped me because of my eyes, she couldn't hack it!!"
Saffron crawls over me and just kneels there hovering over me staring into my eyes which is making me feel rather uncomfortable, because I do not understand what he is doing, I hope to hell he hasn't gone all soft on me!!
"I need ... I couldn't leave without talking to you about something."
He is starting to make me very nervous.
"Listen, last night, it is just between us right!!" I frown at him "You can't tell anyone!"
"Why?" I frown at him "No let me guess, you aren't really gay and it was just the booze, or you are ashamed of shagging me and you don't want anyone to know, or maybe you are married?"
"Hell no, it is nothing like that you idiot!! ... only my parents and Bay know I am gay, not even my brothers and sisters know, and if you go blabbing ..."
"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me!!" I laugh at him a little relieved that is all it is. Obviously he is just another closet gay and I have met plenty in my time, hiding what they are instead of just coming out and being done with it!! "Saffron Shine, who is he anyway, I have never met him!!" he grins at me as he throws me back onto the bed.
"Anyway Maps, was it really that bad that you have to question if I am gay?!" he asks frowning as he hovers above me. "Hell, me and you must be on a different page!"
"I am not sure I remember too much about it, I was pretty hammered remember!" I smirk at him as he comes at me and starts kissing me like a man possessed.
"I thought this was just a one night stand?" I mumble when he starts to work his way down my neck with his mouth while his hands start to travel down my body.
"I forgot to mention breakfast is sometimes included! I think you might need a little reminder!!" I laugh at him as he comes back up to kiss me. "It will have to be a quickie, I should really get out of here before your folks and my folks wake up. I don't want my old man finding out I have spent the night in the house of sin already!! He lay bets that I would end up here before too long!!"
"Why do you care so much about what Sunny thinks?" I frown at him
"I don't!! I just get sick of him constantly pecking my head over it. What I am and what I do is a sin according to him and he thinks there is a cure for it!! He thinks I am gay by choice and can change it!!" he stares down at me for a moment "Now shut up and shag me, you talk too much!!"
I talk too much!! He is something else!!
When I wake up again some hours later, it is almost like he has never been here, the other side of the bed is empty and Saffron has gone.
I must have fallen straight off to sleep after another wild romp that was not quite the quickie that he said it would be. I thought last night was so hot and wild because of all the booze that we had drank, but it was exactly the same this morning, which is kind of scary!!
I run my hand slowly across the top of the sheet on the other side of the bed and it feels cold. I lie there staring at the empty bed and can not help but feel a little disappointed, which surprises me. I do not even have his number, stupid me, why would I, it was a one night stand remember!! They only happen once!!
That is when I notice the piece of paper that is lying on the other pillow.
I shuffle myself up into a sitting position, reach for the piece of paper that is neatly folded in half and open it. The first thing that I notice is how neat his writing is, once my eyes have focused enough to allow me to read the note that he has left. I am a lot more hung over than I thought!!
"I'll see you around Maps! As one night stands go ... it was the best!! Sx"
I laugh as I put the piece of paper on the bedside table.
I lie back down smiling, roll over onto my side and close my eyes.
I have a hang over to sleep off.
Song ~ Stay With Me ~ Sam Smith