Saturday, 13 June 2015

4.2 - The Start of Something Good

I have been crying for what felt like quite a while.  Not really too sure why I am crying exactly, it is probably the relief of finally letting it all out, and being understood.   I am actually really glad as well as relieved that it is all out now, helped by the way that Atlas, Granite, Forrest, Slate and Bay have reacted to it .... it does make me feel a whole lot better about the whole situation and myself. 

Atlas just holds me and lies there quietly and patiently, waiting for me to cry myself out.  I doubt he knows what to say to me about this whole self harming thing, and especially now that he knows I cut myself as recently as a week ago.  I hardly know what to say to him myself.  I am still ashamed and embarrassed, even though they have told me not to be.

There is nothing left for me to admit and there is nothing that Atlas doesn't know.  I can not help but think ... way to scare somebody away!!  I am now worrying about what he might be thinking about me.  I hope he does not now secretly think that I am a right fruit loop and it makes him change his mind about us.  Some people just would not want the hassle.

As my crying calms down, we lie listening to Granite and Slate, now out on the landing again.  I can not help but smile for a moment at Granite playing Slate up for sulking over someone eating the last of the Cheerio's and his Granddad completing the crossword in the newspaper, before Slate has even got a chance to look at it.   Granite tells him he should try one of Mace's cardboard sandwiches then he wouldn't be moaning about eating cornflakes.  Slate always used to crease me and Bay, when we were kids, with his obsession over both Cheerio's and cheese.  I chuckle quietly thinking about what Slate used to do if they ever ran out of his favourite cereal in his house.

"Are you okay?"  Atlas asks, he must be wandering why I am suddenly chuckling to myself while there are still wet tear streaks glistening on my face.

"Listening to those two just, I was reminded about something that Slate use to do, when we were kids.  If his Dad ... Gravel let the Cheerio's run out, he would be banging either mine or Bay's door down at 7.30am in the morning, inviting himself round for breakfast."  I chuckle  "It was Berry help me and Bay if both of our houses had no Cheerio's either!!  He was like a woman with PMT for the rest of the day."  I laugh and Atlas laughs with me. 
"Saffy ... I'm sorry!!"  He says suddenly, I frown at him worrying what might be coming out of his mouth next.  Is this were he backs right off from our relationship before it has even started?!

"Sorry for what?"  I hold my breath waiting for it.

"If I had known, I would never have forced you to come clean!!  I would have stopped with just the abuse you are getting off the berry hole, I would not have mentioned the self harming.   I thought you had dealt with that and stopped it years ago, I didn't realize ..."

"It's okay!!  It is my own fault for not telling you the truth.  I am sorry, I made you believe I have not done it for years."  a grimace spreads across his face.  "I am not mad with you if that is what you think, I should be, but I am not "  I smile at him and he raises my eyebrows questioningly  "Honestly!!"

"Why?!  I am mad with myself!!  I should never have just blurted it out like that!!  I feel awful, I've upset you and let you down already!!"

"You are really cute, do you know that?"  I laugh at him quietly  "You haven't let me down really, I'm glad you forced it and told them, because I never would have done it.  You are right, it needed to be done and it has taken a great weight off my head as well as helped me to put a few things into perspective ...."

"Saff, I need to ask you so I know what I'm dealing with ... Are you going to do it again?"  he looks worried then sheepish  "And just how bad does it get?"

"Honestly I can't promise that I will never do it again.  I don't want to and I seriously have not done it for years, and never expected to again.  Being back here, having to hide what I am again, having Dad around me 24/7 pecking my head with the same old crap, triggered it off again.I roll my eyes  "But you don't have to worry, I've never been suicidal and it has never got too out of hand, my Grandparents never knew what I was doing to myself.  It has mostly only ever been one deep cut at a time, sometimes two."  I laugh  "And you don't need to go around hiding all the sharp objects in the house either!!  I have only ever used a razor blade."

"Granite said he will talk to you about it.  He's a doctor so he can get you the right help to deal with it, plus he kind of understands and can relate to what you might be going through mentally."  I frown at him  "He used to be an addict, alcohol and drugs.  He's kicked the drugs but he still struggles with the alcohol addiction."  he laughs  "Which reminds me, I need to tell you before I forget - we are not allowed alcohol in this house, he only has to smell it and he tuns into a green eyed monster."

"Suddenly I do not feel so alone anymore."  I say quietly after I have just lay staring back at Atlas, who is searching my eyes with his own.  "I saw how upset and angry you was getting, and the way they reacted to it.  I never expected it, I thought everyone would laugh at me!! I've never had anyone fighting in my corner before!!"

"Only a berry hole would laugh at you Saff!! You are far from on your own!!  You have us now, and I doubt Crimson, Cherry and Scarlet especially will be very impressed when they find all this out either!!  In fact, you would be surprise I doubt there are many people who would react to it in the way that you think they will!!"  he smiles at me.  "I am sorry Saff but you have just been very unfortunate, in that you have been given Parents and Grandparents who are just selfish berry holes !!"  

"Tell me about it!!"  I roll my eyes  "I bet you got the best parent's too didn't you!!"

"Yeah I did!!"  he laughs quietly, almost guiltily 

"I think I love you!"

"Wow!!  Slow down Cinderella!!"  he stares at me wide eyed  "We are only a few hours into day one and on the first page of that book we are supposed to be reading together!!  You have skipped to the last page already!!"   we both start laughing. "Tell me that again when you have lived with me for a while, or at least given me a chance to try and catch up!!"  he laughs nervously.

I think I have embarrassed him, and probably put my foot right in it.  It is not like he can say it back and mean it, he still loves Mace, I bet he feels as awkward as hell right now.  I am stupid sometimes, I have to go and just blurt that out, like there is not already enough to think about and scare him off!!  

"Talking of living with me, you heard what Forrest said, you need to pack your bags and move in here straight away!!  As soon as you do that, the berry hole can't touch you again, physically or mentally!!"

"I can't can I, not yet anyway!!"  he frowns at me  "Think about it, me moving into a house that already has six gay men living in it, it is going to give the game away straight away.  I want to tell them all at the same time, not have them find out from gossip."  he laughs quietly  "Unfortunately I need to stay put, I only have to suffer it for one more week, then as soon as I have told my brothers and sister, I am out of there!!"  I smile at him  "I actually can't wait to move in here!!"

He grins at me before he starts to kiss me.

Granite bangs on the bedroom door suddenly, making us both jump again, just like he had earlier.  The kissing, which we were starting to get carried away in, stopped abruptly when we jump apart with nervous fright.  We both just look at each other, lie back on the bed and start laughing because he has put a halt to us getting any further again.  Granite tells Atlas not to get too carried away so he forgets the time, he has about an hour and a half then he is needed downstairs.  I do not even wander why he wants or needs him. 

"What do you fancy doing today?"  I ask taking it for granted, in my stupid needy head, that we will be spending the rest of the day together.  "You are right, nobody will suss if we go out as mates ...."  I see his lips twist a little and he puts his finger over my lips to stop me from talking.

"I'm sorry, I am busy for the rest of the day, I have to look after Mace.  There is only me at home all day today.  Bay and Forrest are at work, Granite and Slate are off out somewhere on a bonding mission for the day with Granite's Dad and four brothers."  he smiles at me  "I'm sorry, we can do something tomorrow if you like."

"Tonight?"  I raise my eyebrows and he shakes his head.

"I have already made plans for tonight too."  he cringes  "I promised Jasmine, McBerry's and me and Mace are taking her to the cinema then bowling with her friend Cotton."  he smiles at me. 


"Mace's daughter ... she's eight, and normally here but she is on a sleep over with Cotton, you know Tapestry's little sister."  I raise my eyes wide in surprise.  I did not even know Mace had a daughter.  "I'll phone you tomorrow, after a night out with Mace, I doubt I will be in the mood for anything else afterwards.  He is acting like a total idiot at the moment, and even though it is understandable after what he has been through and what he has ahead of him, I can't bite my tongue after so long and we always end up fighting.  No doubt I'll be in a totally fowl mood later and I don't want to take it out on you."  he smiles at me.  "I think it is the last thing that you need right now!"

Suddenly I can not help but be a little miffed and feel fobbed off.

"So what is happening with us?"  I ask and he frowns at me  "Are we actually seeing each other properly."  he frowns at me in confusion

"Are you seriously asking me that question now?"  he frowns at me  "Did we not also have a conversation about this last night?"

"Yeah but ... I am not sure if you were being serious or not.  You are binning me off and say you will phone me tomorrow, so I thought you might have just been messing about with all the fairy tale stuff and I miss understood."  he rolls his eyes  "I might also have just scared you off with all my shit.  I need to be told exactly how it is!!" 

"Needy, clingy and insecure!!"  he laughs which confuses me   "Bay warned me, he said you have always been very insecure, self doubting and you can be very full on and suffocating!!  He says once you latch on, you are hard to shake."

"Bay talks too much!!"  I laugh but more so at myself  "I know I'm pathetic, Sulfur was always telling me!!  He was always moaning that he couldn't breath, or move without tripping over me because I was always under his feet."  I just stare up at the ceiling in frustration, wandering what the hell I am doing, besides helping to paint an even worse picture of myself.  

"Hey!!"  he says as he runs his finger down my face which makes me turn back to look at him.  "I meant what I said last night, I was not messing about Cinderella!!"  he smirks at me  "I actually don't mind clingy, I can be a little that way myself!!"  he laughs  "At least I'll know where you are and know exactly what you are up to!  You are not the only one with issues!!"  he rolls his eyes  "I get paranoid and have trust and commitment issues."

"What has made you that way?"  I frown at him.

"I've had a number done on me in the past, a little similar to the Slate situation, only it was my brother, and it has made me very wary!  Probably one of the reasons why I've been happy to just sit and wait, hoping Mace might have a change of heart, and why I've not been in any rush to get into another relationship.  I am terrified of it happening again!!"  he smiles at me  "I really like you, so you Cinderella had better not make me regret taking a chance on you!!"

"So will these commitment issues of yours allow me to call you my boyfriend?"  he just lies there just staring at me for a while, which worries me a little.

"Yes okay, boyfriend."  he smiles at me  "On one condition ... you are not another one following in the Shine family tradition!!"  I frown at him  "Bikes.  I hear it's like Mother like Daughter,  school bike, town bike ... Strawberry especially, if you are anything like your sister ... "

"Hell no!!  I am not a slut or a cheat!!"  I laugh at him  "I'll be too busy getting under your feet to even notice what or who is going on around me!"  I laugh at myself.

"Good because that is one thing I seriously can not hack and won't tolerate, I don't give second chances!!  One thing I am is totally faithful, hell up until you, I've even been faithful to Mace for the past six years and we weren't in a relationship and he doesn't even love me!!"

"What the hell was that all about earlier, you scrubbing Mace's back in the shower?"  I frown at him, remembering what Granite said earlier now that he has mentioned his name a few times.

"Mace is being an ass at the moment, some days he won't eat, wash, shower, brush his teeth, change his clothes, he kicks up a fuss over everything!!   He is depressed and feeling downright sorry for himself and is trying to shut himself off.  We are scared to leave him alone for a second in case he tries to top himself it is that bad.  We have to force him to do everything, we have to physically put him in the shower and wash him to keep him clean."  Atlas rolls his eyes  "He will only let Me and Granite anywhere near him most of the time and only Granite is allowed to see him completely naked."  Atlas laughs  "He keeps his shorts on when I am with him if that is what you are wandering." 

"So you and Mace, what exactly has gone on between you two?"  I frown at him

The most we have ever done in the past six years truthfully ... I've tried to kiss him twice and both times I got my face slapped for my troubles!!"  he rolls his eyes  "I'm a jerk!!  I thought it was just because he couldn't see past Granite, but I find out recently Coral and your sister aren't the only one's who have had a tumble with Gravel, Mace has too!  Which totally shocked me because I thought he was totally faithful to Granite, plus I find out all along he was married to Granite's sister."  my eyes widen  "Yeah exactly!!  I am pathetic and I think that is what finally woke me up where Mace is concerned!!  He's a player, but it has come back to bite him in the ass because he does genuinely love Granite, and he's lost the both of us."

"Gravel, hell!!  I seriously can not believe half of the stuff I am hearing about that man!  To me he has always just been Slate's Dad and the squeaky clean policeman, he never even had a relationship that we saw when Slate was growing up!"  I laugh  "Hell I didn't even know Forrest was married or his adopted brother!!"

"Yeah I know, a lot of skeletons have been let out of everyone's closets!"  he raises his eyebrows at me  "So are there any skeletons in your closet that I need to know about?"

"Not really, after Bay there have only been two, Butter and Sulfur.  Love does not even come into it because I haven't been in love properly yet."  I roll my eyes at him  "Although I will warn you, Sulfur has had a change of heart and is hassling me right now, even though I have told him to sling his hook."  he frowns at me.  "Here I'll show you."

I grab for my phone which is now on the bedside table, Atlas must have picked it up off the floor when I went out onto the landing earlier to face everyone, while he collected up our scattered clothes, that now lie in one jumbled pile.  I turn on my phone and I am bombarded with bleeps, because of all the missed calls and texts.  I pull up the texts and hand Atlas the phone  He sits up on the bed and starts to flick through the text messages.

"What a Jerk!!  Didn't he dump you?!"  Atlas frowns at me as he lies back down and I tell him yes.  He hands me my phone and I switch it off again.  "It is probably a good job you showed me these, or I would have started getting paranoid over you getting texts from the ex!!"  he laughs quietly  "How long were you two together for?"

"Nearly three years."  I roll my eyes and his eyebrows rise a little  "So what about your bone closet?"  I ask and he laughs

"Don't worry Cinders nothing I haven't swept away a long time ago!!"

"No come on - you are like a closed book, you expect me to tell you things while all your stuff is closely guarded!!  I want to know about this situation with your brother that turned you paranoid!"  he rolls his eyes

"I always wanted kids, and even though I am bi, for a while I stuck to women, hoping I'd find someone I could be happy with, settle down get married and have kids with.  I thought I'd found someone.  Someone who I fell in love with and she didn't freak out at me being bi or hate my odd eyes, I thought she loved me."  he laughs sarcastically  "We got married ..."

"Married!!"  I am shocked, I hadn't realized he had been married.Then I remember he is in his early 30's he has got a good ten years on me.

"Yeah!!  It's actually embarrassing, the marriage lasted four months.  The divorce actually took longer to come through than the marriage lasted."  he laughs quietly  "She tells me she's pregnant four months into the marriage and I am over the moon, until I have a bomb shell dropped on me - she had been having an affair with one of my brothers behind mine and my Sister in Law's back and she wasn't sure who's kid it was."  he screws his face up  "Berry knows why she married me, if she was carrying on with my brother.  I think she used me just to get at my brother, and he was my best man too which took the total piss!!"

"How did you find out?"

"My sister caught them sneaking about while I was at work, she grassed them up!!  In the end it turned out the kid was his not mine, but it didn't matter because I dumped and divorced her ass the minute I found out anyway.  My Sister in Law divorced my brother, then 'they' got married and had another kid, it didn't work out for them either, it seems she is a serial slut, and they are now divorced."  he rolls his eyes  "It caused a lot of friction in our family, as you can imagine and it still does, I have a Niece and Nephew that I can not even look at without being reminded, especially that they should have been mine!!   I haven't spoken to my brother in years and doubt I ever will again!!  I am well over her, it is just the principal of what he did to me - so I know exactly where Slate is coming from!!  If you can't trust your own family, who can you trust!!"

"I'm sorry that is rough!!"  He laughs and rolls his eyes.  I frown at him  "If you want kids, why now get yourself into a relationship with other men?"  You have told me you have had more boyfriends than girlfriends."

"I don't trust women full stop after her and the likes of Coral and your sister just add to my paranoid head.  I know it is not just women, men can be just as bad, just like my brother!!  I don't trust anyone, so I just go with what I prefer, and that is males anyway, I have only had one actually relationship since my marriage and that was another car crash!!  Up until Mace, the rest were one night stands.  I have not actually slept with a woman since her."  he rolls his eyes  "Me not having kids of my own, well that is something I just have to live with, like most gay men."

 Atlas glances at the clock on the wall and pulls a face then he laughs quietly. 

"Boyfriend, you can shag me while we still have time and before Gran comes banging the door down again, then you can sling your hook until tomorrow, I just need one day, then you can have me full time!!"  he smiles at me  "Just not today, because I have a very annoying drama queen to babysit and talk to, and I have to admit, you are way too distracting to have around!!"

"I could always stay and help you baby sit the annoying little shit."  he starts laughing  "I think you like being distracted by me and I have to admit I am very curious to see what this Mace is like!"

"Yeah I bet you are and of course I like the way you distract me as well as want you to stay, but today it's not advisable.  Mace needs to get used to the idea of you before I go ramming you straight down his throat, and I have other stuff to tell him."  he smiles  "I don't mind if you feel the need to send me 101 texts till I see you tomorrow."

I frown at him finding that a strange thing for him to say about Mace, I think he spots my concern and my confusion. 

"At the moment I am the only one who Mace recons is not rubbing his face in it because I don't have a 'love life'.  Since he has been paralyzed from the waist down, understandably his head has been all over the place.  He is really not coping with it and he keeps banging on that the only reason Granite has dumped him is because he's now paralyzed."  he smiles at me  "He knows I love him and if he sees that I am moving on too, and so soon, when I've sat there for six years, my life on hold waiting for him, it's just going to send his head off even more.  He is going to think I'm another one who doesn't want him suddenly because he is paralyzed"  he smiles at me  

"Please tell me you are not planning to hide us from Mace?!"  I frown at him

"Hell No!!  I am not going to hide us, but I really need to sit down and talk to him about us first, I don't want to just spring you on him!"  he laughs  "Besides I've had my orders from Granite, he told me I have to soften the blow first before I go dragging you into Mace's room."

"I saw you two with your heads together on the landing when I came back in here, I guessed it was me you were talking about!"

He smirks at me as he rolls towards me and starts kissing me, he's grinding against me and really getting me worked up and his hand traveling down my body is helping with that.  He suddenly breaks the kiss as his hand goes into my shorts.

"You seriously have nothing to worry about where me and Mace are concerned!!  I don't even like him anymore which is half of the battle won already!!"  he smirks as he grabs hold of my erection quite forcefully.  "But I am warning you, if I see this so much as twitch in another blokes direction, especially Bay or Tapestry's ... I'll chop it clean off and you'll be giving yourself a blow job!!"

I do not even get to say anything or laugh, because he starts kissing me again.

Our kissing gets very heated and it takes us off into that head blowing place, for me anyway, I am not really sure what this is doing for him, but he seems to be making all the right noises.  This time we manage to make plenty of noise without being disturbed, and when it's over we relax on the bed waiting for our bodies to calm downI am hoping that nobody has just heard us.  Atlas amuses me because he always crawls into my arms afterwards, and for someone so calm and gentle, he doesn't half become very vocal and makes a lot of noise.

"Maybe we should take off next week."  he mumbles after a while and I frown at him  "Well your Dad is going to be up in the air isn't he when you have let your secret out - maybe we should get out of town for a few weeks, until the dust settles a little."

"Yeah that is not a bad idea!!"  I smile at him  "I am expecting it to get nasty, its not just my secret I am letting out.  I will be showing him up, and everyone will see exactly what he is, the lies he has been telling, just how homophobic he is and the abuse he has been dishing out.  He will probably be after my blood and especially when he finds out I am moving in here of all places and attached to you!!"  I roll my eyes  "Berry knows how my brothers and sisters are going to take it."

"You know I think you are worrying way too much where they are concerned, I know them all, but Crimson, Cherry and Scarlet in particular.  They are all really good friends with Bay and Forrest, and they don't seem to have a problem with the gay thing."  he laughs  "Strawberry least of all, because she seems to be on a mission to get into every gay mans trousers!"

"It's not just gay men, its ALL men, even those she hates!!  I am just glad I am her brother and she can't touch me!!"  we both laugh for a moment.  "I know they don't seem to have a problem with the gay thing, but it's a bit different when it's one of your own, they might not take it so well with it being me."  I mumble.

"We are going to have to be very sneaky until you come out, if anyone sees us together doing anything remotely romantic, within a few days the whole town is going to know - your Maize and Parsley in particular are like washer women, they thrive on gossip."  I laugh wandering how he knows those two so well in particular already  

"So where are you planning for us to go?"  I frown at him  "We are going to have to be very sneaky out in the coded world.  This is a new one on me, you not being yellow."

"Cherry Hill, another colour mix town, where we won't have to sneak about."  he grins up at me  "I was already planning to go home for a few weeks soon anyway.  I have never been away from home for this long before and my Mother is getting all stressy, me being the baby, she suffocates me."  He laughs quietly  "You should come with me to Cherry Hill, you will be able to meet my parents, which is something else she will soon start nagging me about, she like to vet who I am seeing."  he smiles then pulls a face  "I haven't told my Mother yet about my plans to move to Berry Shores, it is going to really upset her, she doesn't like me being here and away from home, but she knows I am stuck here until after the trial.  She's annoyed with me for even being here, she has never liked Mace, even more so now that I was shot because of him." 

"Are you seriously that hell bent on moving to Berry Shores, why not just get your own place in Cherry on the other side of town, if seeing Mace's old house is what you want to avoid seeing.  If I had good parents I wouldn't want to move away from them."
"It's not just their house, we have trampled all over Cherry, there are reminders of him everywhere, and I'm learning a lesson from Forrest's mistakes, reminders only haunt you and keep you hanging on.  I need a complete clean break!!"  he smiles at me  "I do plan to go back to Cherry one day, I could not stay away for ever and I know my Mother is going to nag me something chronic until I do go home.  I just need to get it all out of my system first, I have it planned in my head that when I have completely moved on then I can move back to Cherry." he glances up at me  "Maybe that might be happening a lot quicker than I expected it too."

"Hell I hope so!!  I better get working on making you fall in love with me quick smart then, so that you don't upset your Mother for too long."  I grin at him as he lies there laughing at me.  "So when are you thinking of taking me to be inspected by your Mother."  he laughs "Hell I hope she likes me!"

"I think she will."  he laughs as he grins at me

"Don't your parents mind you being with men?"

"No.  I've always been open about what I am, I had boyfriends and girlfriends while I was at school.  My parents don't care as long as I am happy."  he laughs  "My Dad recons My Mother has turned me this way molly coddling me too much.  The only thing that disappoints them is that I won't be making them any Grandchildren, but it's not like they don't have enough with the ten they already have."  he looks up at me ."I have three brothers and a sister if I haven't already told you."

"No you didn't."  I smile at him "So when are we going?"

"I was thinking of jumping on the same flight as Gran and Mace at the end of next week anyway."  I frown at him  "Granite needs to go back to Cherry to tie up all the lose ends with their house and his job.  He is taking Mace home for a few weeks to try and cheer him up a bit, to see if he can bring him back out of himself."  he rolls his eyes  "Forrest is seriously not impressed, especially as he can not get the time off work to go with them.  You might notice things are very tense between Gran and Forrest right now, but I will say one thing for Gran, he seems to be really looking out for Mace, he's actually putting Mace before Forrest which really shocks me!!"

"Is Mace even allowed to leave Sugar Valley, he's out on bale isn't he?"

"They have got permission, from the courts, to take him out of Sugar Valley because Shale and Elderberry are going with them, so there will constantly be a police presence and he can't do a runner.  Slate, Turmeric and Jasmine are going with them too."  he smiles at me  "We don't even have to see them or spend any time with them while we are there, no doubt my Mother and big sister will suffocate me and I have loose ends of my own to tie up."

"Who is Shale?"

"Granite's Dad, he's a Chief Constable, he's way up there at the top of the ladder in the force and you know Elderberry is the Chief officer in charge of his case, as well as Mace's new best mate."  he laughs quietly  "Shale has pulled a few strings and he and El have put their necks on the line, to guarantee his return, not that they need too because Mace has no intention of doing a runner, he wants to serve his time and get it all off his back so he can live the rest of his life a free man."

The door bangs again, and we are not really surprised when it is Granite again, he says he needs a word with us.  We have to quickly pull on our boxer shorts before Atlas tells him to come in.  Granite comes into the room chuckling to himself.   I am amused that he brings in a plate containing six pieces of French Toast and a large mug of coffee.

"Seeing as you can't come down to eat."  he rolls his eyes as he puts the mug and plate down on the bedside table.  "You will have to share the coffee, but I found the biggest mug I could find.  Mace is in the living room, he would have seen me bringing up two mugs.  I have told him you have got a bad headache, he thinks I'm bringing you pills and making you eat first."  he laughs at Atlas  "Mace cooked this especially for you." 

"Hell I am highly honoured and it's French Toast!!  I am shocked you actually got him to do anything!"  Atlas grins a Granite  "Or is he still trying to butter me up?"

"Yes I'm afraid so, so it is really important you let him down as gently as you can!!  He is in quite a good mood today, however, I doubt that is going to last very long."  he smirks at me then  "You will never guess what happened ealier.  We have had the yellow berry hole banging the door down all guns blazing looking for you."  Granite starts to laugh

"Does he know I'm here?"  I stare at him wide eyed  "You didn't let on you know about me being gay did you?"

"No.  Your secrets is still safe."  he laughs  "I told him I didn't even know he had a yellow son called Saffron.  I told him I've never heard of you let alone seen you."  a cheeky grin spreads across his face.  "and I behaved ... sort of" 

"What have you done?"  Atlas laughs at Granite  "Why did he come here looking for Saffron?  Only Tapestry and Bay knew about us, and neither of them would tell him especially!!"  

"I should say he was just chancing his luck because the house is full of gay men you wally!!"  Granite laughs at Atlas  "He didn't let on about you being gay Saffron, he came using the excuse that you have gone missing.  He recons nobody has seen you since yesterday afternoon, and your phone is switched off.  He thought you might be here with Bay or Slate because you are old school mates."  he starts roaring with laugher 

"His back went straight up when I opened the door dripping wet in just a towel cause I'd just got out of the shower with Mace, and he could see Mace sitting there in a towel also wet, when he came wheeling himself to the door being nosy.  The berry hole started swearing at me, telling me I'm an abomination and I have no morals!!"

"Tell me you haven't been fighting with him Gran!!"  Atlas rolls his eyes

"No, I wound him up instead, it stopped me from knocking his block off, which is what I really wanted to do."  he laughs  "I asked him if he wanted to join me and Mace in the bedroom, because he needs educating.  I told him we don't charge first timers and we'd be gentle with him."  he starts laughing  "He didn't take it too well, especially when I told him he'll get the best blow job he's ever had in his life off Mace.  He soon did a runner."  

Granite stands there howling, it makes me laugh too.  Then he turns all serious.

"Atlas you need to get a wriggle on.  We will be leaving shortly, we are just waiting on you to get your act together.  I don't want Mace left on his own for a minute."  he smiles at Atlas  "Don't forget, Mace is not to see you with Saffron until you have spoken to him, which needs to be done today ... all of it!!"  he rolls his eyes  "We might as well get all the upset done in one go.  I can see me having a sleepless night with him tonight.  You will have to phone me if he starts to rock and roll and I'll come right home."

Granite goes to walk out of the room then he suddenly stops and smirks.

"Oh and you two ... "  he stands with his hand on the door half in and half out of the room  "You need to practice a little volume control!!"  he starts roaring with laughter  "Hell and I thought Mace was loud!!  It sounded like you were murdering each other!!"

Granite walks out of the room in hysterics, we can hear him laughing all the way down the corridor and stairs.  Me and Atlas just stare at each other before we burst up laughing.

Now I am seriously embarrassed!!

Atlas jumps in the shower while I sit eating toast while I am trying to repair my broken trouser zip, the button I manage to find and sew back on.  The T shirt was unrepairable and unwearable.  I ended up stitching it up, just to hold it together, with the intention of wearing it back to front and hope that nobody would notice.

While I take a shower Atlas goes down to make sure Mace is somewhere that he can not see me, he comes back up just as I am getting dressed.

"Mace is in his room with the door closed, Slate is keeping him occupied while we sneak you out."  he smiles then starts to grin at me  "After today, we won't have to do anymore sneaking about in this house."

"Is it okay if I pinch some of your aftershave." 

"Yeah of course, knock yourself out!!  You didn't need to ask boyfriend."  he laughs at me for a second then frowns  "I hate turfing you out knowing that the berry hole is on the war path looking for you!!  I would let you stay, but I seriously need to talk to Mace and calm him down first - me and Gran both think he is going to make a right drama out of this!!"  

I frown wandering why Mace would actually take Atlas seeing someone so badly.  I know Atlas has explained but still, surely he won't get as upset as they are making out. So confused I ask him

"It's not just you I have to tell him about, its me moving to Berry Shores and cutting all contact with him once he's send down.  We have been best mates for six years and we know it is really going to upset him.  I was going to leave it closer to the time, but he's been banging on for over a week now and he has got this stupid idea about me moving to Orange Falls with him.  So Granite thinks I need to put him straight now before he gets too carried away with it."

"Don't worry about me, you just do what you have to do.  I'll be fine, I'm not going to go straight home anyway.  I'm going to pop round to spend some time with Crystal and Vanilla.  If they are busy I'll pop round to Cherry's, she always appreciates a hand with the triplets."  I smile at him  "If Dad is there, he has to act normally, he can not say or do anything unless there is nobody else around."

I have to leave the house even though I do not really want to, I am beginning to really like it here!!  I really can't wait now for this week to be over so that I can get my brothers and sisters told and move in here.

Granite amuses me, when he takes me out through the back door.  There is a gate that leads out onto an alleyway, which will bring me out in a completely different street, so nobody will realize I have come out of this house, which helps to keep my secret safe.  I know which alley way this is, it is going to bring me out right opposite Gravel's house, which is now all boarded up.

"I guess we will see you tomorrow."  Granite grins at me  "If the berry hole lays into you, just get out of there Saffron you don't have to take it!!  You can come back here if you need to, just don't let Mace see you until Atlas has spoken to him!"

I smile at him as he smiles at me before closing the gate between us.  I walk, almost skip down the alley way and I can not help but grin to myself.

Suddenly things are starting to look good!!

Song - Start of Something Good _ Daughtry



  1. I really do love Atlas' eyes XD I spend a lot of time staring at them ^^

    It's good that Saffron is feeling better about things now. Getting such secrets out usually turn out to be more helpful than harmful in the end. Hopefully the relief gives him the patience to handle Sunny (the jerk) for just a little while more, for I'm sure Sunny has more vile stuff to do before this is over.

    1. Yeah his eyes get me too - I love them
      Getting things out in the open is always better than keeping them in - which he is just learning.
      Sunny :/